Ranch

In the 20 years I've lived on this earth, I have ate my fair share of food. From apple sauce to zucchini and everything in between. I've spilt food, thrown food, choked on food, played with food, and even ate it from time to time. What I've found in my strenuous study of food is that there is no sauce or seasoning more universal than ranch dressing. Now, most people will agree that ranch is a tasty addition to a salad or even a smaller group will eat it with their pizza. I however, take ranch to a whole new level, or obsession.

I eat ranch with anything that I can think of. Pizza, salad, wings, chicken, burgers, fries, onion rings, mac and cheese, tacos, eggs, and the list is growing everyday. I don't know what it is about ranch that has me hooked but I don't care. If ranch was a drug, I'd be in therapy for a long time. I'd run an illegal ranch distribution ring and fight off the DEA to the death. If ranch was a girl, I'd marry it or at least dream about it.

This will be at my wedding!

I'm kidding of course, as much as I like ranch, if it were to go away I wouldn't have to worry about how I would cope. This is because the disappearance of ranch from the world would ultimately result in the end of the world. Let me connect the dots for you naysayers. Without ranch, the salad business goes in flux. When the salad business goes out, buffets are the next victim. No one wants to eat a buffet without a salad, right? Once buffets fall apart, Las Vegas goes down with it, no one knows what to eat and the city falls apart. With no gambling, people don't know what to waste their money on. People start going bankrupt at a all time low. Our country would start to make money instead of digging the debt even deeper. At this point in time, the world is at a place where no one can handle themselves. People are overwhelmed with boringness and nothing to complain about in terms of the government. And Justin Bieber disappears forever. As much as some may wish for some of these things to happen, they will never happen in this world, so them occurring obviously means that the world will blow up from confusion. It's science.

As you can see, I obviously have way too much time on my hands. A blog about ranch that leads to the end of the world? Yes I am ready for school to start. I need to get in a regular routine of going to bed and waking up. But I'm sure as soon as school starts I'll be ready for a break, it's the nature of the beast. Can't have your cake and eat it too, right? Other than school and trying to find some work to make some money, my life is been pretty bland lately, which is not a bad thing. Other than that, I'm just anxious for football (professional and college). Stay tuned people.